My biggest concern was I felt I didn’t have a very strong thesis. I feel like now that I have peer feedback and all these suggestions towards my paper will help me construct a solid thesis.
They enjoyed the strength of my introduction to the essay and the organization it had. They felt the same about the conclusion, it was a good way to wrap up my essay. “Very strong opening, concise, sets up for a good argument.” -Luke C “I like how organized the opening is. great intro.” -Bekkah B.
Everything that makes you who you are, breaks down into multiple discourses. Cuddy talks about nonverbals which is a piece of what Gee is touching upon. The acts, attitudes, gestures, and body positions part of Gee’s definition of Discourse is a description of what a nonverbal are (Gee 6-7). Cuddy is saying that your body language makes you who you are which is what James Gee is saying about discourses. Gee has basically taken nonverbals and expanded that to incorporate everything you do, say, feel, believe and called it a Discourse.
In the piece from my paper above both Bekkah and Luke like the point I am trying to make but feel I need to build on that more and put more “I say” in it. I know that I definitely need to go back into my paper and add a lot of explanation.
She was withdrawn from college and told that she should try something new. In Gee’s words, she needed to redefine her Discourses. However she didn’t give up and just kept trying to go back and when she finally did she felt as if she couldn’t do it. But, her advisor Susan Fisk gave told her she was going to fake it, whether she knew the information, felt scared, wasn’t ready, that didn’t matter (Cuddy 5). She was going to continue faking it not just until she made it but until she became that (Cuddy 5). Not only was Cuddy able to fake it till she made it but she passed this information down to a student, just like her, and watched them succeed just as she did. So if somebody can fake it till they make it, does that means they can fake their way into a Discourse?
Here I talk a lot about Cuddy and put more analysis than previous work which Luke liked and said he liked the relationships I made. However it still needs more analysis and once again “i say”
My two biggest issues are a focus for my paper and adding my “i say” to the paper. In . my revision I really need to work on picking apart the quotes and let the reader know why I think that is important. I need more added to every quote but I need to focus more on Gee. I feel I needed a deeper understanding of Gee to be able to understand more about what he was saying and in reviewing my peers papers I was able to realize and recognize more of what he was saying.
I will help the reader understand my perspective by adding more “i say” to my essay. I will also develop a strong thesis to help them understand the point I want to make.
